For young mothers in academia, is there a clear way to raise a kid who benefits from parents being intellectual elite, has personal connection to them, sees them as a role model, and is not just taking money from them?
Is “tiger mother” the only way? How to accept the kid being into parties and not into hard work? This mindset of “lost generation” is just one of the many ways the consumer society developed to take money from successful parents through their kids.
What if the only thing a kid will think about parents is how much pressure and control they exert on him, with their seemingly unachievable bar of success? Is that what the kid would complain to the counseling worker about? Counseling workers are replacing parents in this function of maintaining personal connection with their grown up kids. And while talking with their parents, the grown up kids will refrain to small talk, how everything is fine and great, and send a card.
We need more positive examples, where talented and driven parents raised talented and driven kids. Especially here in California, the only examples I hear of are the opposite.