Next level of jokes

As I used to be an aspiring party journalist, here’s one about the party in our group: “It’s 8pm and half the people left? Seriously? You would spend a night in the noisy clubs and bars where every minute of talking is exhausting, but leave from a perfectly nice party?!  While 1am under my window – still drunk people being loud. ” As one of the postdocs explained to me, he left because he didn’t want to be the last guest leaving.

Recently our school organized a discussion about women in STEM. There I reached the next level of political correctness –  rested in a comfy chair in the back of the room, I politically correctly slept through the whole thing! I did try to bring my libertarian friend there, I want to train him on high level mobs, and idealists are a good source of XP. He multiclasses in internet trolling.

Pretty much my ordinary day: find a *really good thing* to do on the weekend, then ask a few dozen fellow students just to realize that nobody cares. But then last time, I’ve been told that a person I don’t know is going to the movie the same day. I just messaged him like I totally don’t have any friends and even though he was going there with a girl, he allowed me to join them. Bad idea, don’t do that. But I wasn’t able to mess up their day, because if the first thing they talked about was flying airline carriers,  how would you mess that up? There’s no way to divert them even more from getting close to each other.

The movies that I saw deserve a few jokes as well. It seems that for the time while I was not watching anything, the trends changed and directors became more careful with the women characters. It’s dream come true, for certain activists. During the total 3 hours that I spent on movies, there was not a single “eye candy” woman character on the screen. There were hardly any background women characters at all. All women characters had well developed storylines and were relatable. Lol. Are future teenagers not going to talk about which actress has bigger boobs anymore? This makes me sad.

Mad Max is so real, though. It is crazy after a decade of computer graphics  to see real costumes, real explosions and real stunts. I thought to myself: “People can actually do this? No shit!” Kind of wanted to wreck havoc with my own car after coming out of the theater. Is there any place where one can do this, actually? Can I put it on my insurance? Apparently, the sales of edible spray paint went up after the movie. And the new logo for it is “What a lovely spray”. Last thing about Mad Max: the director wants us to watch it as a b/w, silent film. To maximize the madness (puns 1:0).

The Ant-man was surprisingly fun. I’m glad someone in the industry also doesn’t take Avengers universe too seriously. But to be fair, I think the best actors, the ones who we become real fans of by the end, are the ants. They are so boss. I totally view the ants in my office in a completely different light now. And how to make quantum mechanics make sense: the screenwriters, the director, the actors and the science consultant have to undergo How-to-not-be-a-crackpot training.


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