Complaints and who to address them

In a world centered around success, be it in classes or in career, it’s perfectly okay to complain about the obstacles you find there. In everyday lunch conversations you can hear people complaining about their work/coursework being not where they want it, as well as lack of sleep and stress that comes from it. It’s also okay to complain about weather, rudeness of strangers and high prices/low quality of consumer goods. But is somehow not okay to complain about one’s personal life in a casual conversation. To find a way to channel the latter complaints, one need to either contact a therapist, or invite a good friend out for a meal. Then if that person values you for some other reason, he may patiently sit through your complaints. Notice: if other complaints can be voiced when they arise, for personal complaints you need to schedule a time, possibly a few days later in the week, and rely on resources that are not always available (not everybody has friends who would listen to them, and even among those not every friend is approachable to talk about personal issues).

Writing them in a blog is a good way to alleviate this delay. Other issue is that some complaints are person-specific, and only make sense to those who know the person in question. For that case, finding a person in the same circle and starting a conversation with them may be a good choice. Complaining directly to the person who causes you personal troubles is likely a bad choice, as well as being public about it on social media.

(Headline photo: in a Chinese company, there’s a special day when employees are allowed to wear masks so that they don’t have to force the smile on their faces)


Actual conversations’ transcripts

In the About page, I promised to precisely quote the conversations I had with people. It’s been awhile ago when I did that, now it’s mostly the imaginary conversations that go into this blog. But let me scan through the posts and  see if there are any real conversations I’ve written down:

  • Hi!
  • Hi!
  • Let’s go to West Hollywood!
  • Afterparty in <their own house>!
  • What the!
  • meter over meter is dimensionless!
  • Ask her for an autograph – that will make her happy!
  • I’ve seen people leading west coast swing while sitting in a chair.

(1 year ago) …Also, on a dance lesson a girl told me that I smell bad. You should’ve seen my reaction to that! I was lost, awkward, flipping my eyelashes. I said I might. Flipping eyelashes, I said sorry. I stepped a step away from her, giving her space. I was speaking some nonsense for ten or twenty seconds.. It didn’t make me angry, even for a second. It didn’t make me do a sarcastic remark. Guess I’ll never be sarcastic when someone is so honest.

Here’s what she said: “You know, dances are such a close contact, so I don’t know if you noticed, but it is important to, kind of, smell really good. You can use try using deodorant..” After I said sorry: “No, you’re fine!”

  • I’m done avoiding you.
  • “I can’t go, because my sister wedding is on the same day!” – “How dares she!”
  • Go, Pasadena, Go! You’re beautiful!

(2 years ago) …I think I have to resurrect that personality from 3 years ago. I have never used this personality in the US. In California, at least. But I think it’s time. World is calling for me. That’s why I kept this blog – so that I can leap back in years and get that carefree feeling back again.

By ‘world is calling’ I mean two Asian girls who looked at me today, on Pie day. I don’t even know them. One liked my rollerskates, the other reached for her backpack in the library, and our eyes met. She laughed and smiled to me (maybe, I didn’t really look straight at her). The current me didn’t really want to start a conversation (I’m old!). But the me from the past certainly would say something!