Oftentimes social events happen when we are tired. Almost any lab or group of coworkers has a social hour on Friday, after a whole week of work. Obviously, we are not in our top shape and not very witty at that hour. So the best we can do is just relax and go with the flow, enjoying the simple moments with people around us. But what if your social life is not in a good shape either? What if you’d really like to actively change someting during a trip to a bar with your colleagues on Friday night, meet new people, make a good impression, get invited to an event you want? Then you need to be able to do these things while being low on energy, tired, worn out. But what exactly changes in the way our mind works when we are tired? It turns out we are slower, not that witty anymore, and have trouble noticing opportunities that are right in front of us.
Let me give you an example. This Wednesday was a very long day for me. I spend the daytime discussing my work, then in the evening there was 3 hour long seminar, and finally a hip-hop class. After class, one of our dancers changed and went to DJ a party, while complaining a lot about how he’s gonna black out any moment, and not feeling like doing it at all. That was exactly how I was feeling too. I went to that party though. For the first half an hour I wandered around the graffity painted halls of Page, or stood still on the dance floor hesitating what to do next and trying to process what’s happening. I didn’t really talk to anyone, but each half an hour a thought appeared in my brain – something that I suddenly wanted to say to somebody. Here are those brilliant witty lines:
“Your faces look so funny in that purple light” .. 30min passes.. “How are you doing?”.. 30min passes.. “You are very good at it”.. 30min passes.. “You don’t mind me here, do you?”
You get the idea – you can’t rely on your brain to fill in blanks in the conversation when you’re tired. What I didn’t think of doing at that moment, even though it would’ve been a good idea, was:
- I had my smartphone with me, and the wi-fi was on. I could’ve friended somebody on fb.
- While wandering around the dorm, I saw a lot of people not joining the party but playing boardgames in their rooms instead. I could’ve asked them if the party disturbs their sleep cycle, just out of curiosity.
- I’d probably been better off if for one of those 30min pauses I’d just went playing pool or Super Mario, which was nearby.
- Now the theme of the party, which I wasn’t able to decipher until later, was about UV lights. Many items of clothing have a property of glowing in that light, but not my clothing. There were also glowing sticks, but for some reason it did not occur to me that I should take one.
In general, it seems I did everything not to attract much attention, so when yet another grinding human centipede bumped into me with one of its butts, I could only act embarrassed and get out of the way. Same when another grinding human centipede fell apart into three girls who started dancing in front of me, I first had the impulse to hide, get out of the circle. But I stayed dancing, which wasn’t any particularly impressive dancing, but strangely it kept my mood up. I’m glad that I went that night, and now I’m inspired to work on my clothes choices, so that I maybe stand out a little bit, get used to attention, get used to knowing people who dance with me and interact with them! For that, I’ll need to practice in front of the mirror, so that my facial expression and dance moves show clean and strong emotions and look confident. This is my piece of advice on partying tired.