Three questions to tell if someone is a douchebag

From dating website, people create shaming walls for profiles that are way off. This one is for profiles of guys who call themselves nice but aren’t: former okcupidsniceguys.tumblr.com

(for those who want more intense shaming go to foreveralonefedoras.tumblr.com, you will never be the same again)

The ultimate proof that someone is a douchebag is his answer to three questions: Is homosexuality a sin? Would you strongly prefer to date someone of your racial background? And last but not least: do you think women have the obligation to have their legs shaven?

Apparently that one is a deal breaker. If you need to prove someone’s a douchebag just that is enough. Luckily I haven’t answered it – I may have gotten myself on those shaming walls. First of all, the question does not have the tone of “importance”. It’s not phrased like “do you think police should catch women with unshaven legs and fine them”! So it’s easy to not read much into it..

Second of all, how are men even supposed to answer this question? It’s not like we ever saw a woman with unshaved legs. And we never thought about this question either. My first thought was “I have no idea”. It’s hard for me to imagine a man arguing about this with someone. If one tries to imagine women’s legs looking the way men’s legs look – ugh, that’s actually quite disturbing on many levels.

I’d like to conclude this faint stand-up routine with the description of a picture I was drawing for an army’s wallpaper. There, a new recruit is dreaming about tropical island, martini and a tanned lady in bikini, just to wake up to the sight of a hairy male butt of his barrack neighbor. This is how he knows this is the very bottom of life.

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New meaning of “subculture”

This is a concise translation of the ideas from this public resource describing changes in society that took place in Russia in the last 30 years. Their goal is very ambitious, and they take a tree-way approach to any topic: include interviews with 10 relevant people, summary of related social science and the reporter’s opinion. In particular, on the topic of subcultures, they quote a lot of western research, so I thought it’s a nice overview to keep in mind for any country. If I need to sum up in one sentence: the core properties of a subculture are different from its depiction in media, in particular, the media views are outdated.

More below:
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Jazz anecdotes

Note that the picture shows a failed fashion attempt  – everything below my waist is wrong. Shorts have to be tight around the knees, or else the silhouette does not look trendy… On a good side, the upper body was a success, I noticed at least one intense stare. Win. Anyways, this is a jazz festival which attracts mainly seniors and parents with kids who picnic on the nearby lawn. Not the strictest fashion censors.

Speaking of parents, I am interested in a stereotype of an “inappropriate parent”. Someone who would say “It is so nice to watch their relationship develop” in front of the kid and his/her friends. Someone who would say “We are having so much fun together!” when everybody else in the room are clearly bored. You probably remember a more colorful examples from your favorite teenage TV show. There are always two sides to the conflict: from a teenager’s point of view, it is so easy to be understanding and appropriate! Yet the parent doesn’t seem to put any effort into doing so. From an older person’s point of view, parents are wiser and know not to worry about such trifles in the first place.

As a teenager, I took a radical stance on this controversy. I’ve terrorized my parents, especially my mother, to not do anything at all in my presence in public. It resulted in a special form of paranoya on her side, when she is afraid to like my status on facebook because it may make me look bad. In fact, my parents are afraid of doing something wrong on any kind of social media.

From a more grown up point of view, I am still very surprized every time I meet people who are completely unaware of other’s comfort zones. I’ve met one on that Jazz festival. They remind me of people who took the following motivational advice too seriously: “When you need to go to the restroom, you are very focused on your goal. You don’t hear people failing to go to the restroom because they thought they’re not good enough etc. So next time you need to focus on your goal, think of it as the restroom”

From each Jazz festival I bring at least one jazz joke. The previous one was about a composer who bought a long stick with a cigarette holder on its end. His friend asked “Why?” “My doctor told me to stay away from smoking.”

This time, it is a story of a cat. In the house of one of the orchestra directors, there lives a cat named Jazzman. This cat is 23 years old, missing both eyes and lives in a garage. It prefers garage to the house. So the house owner and his friends composed a piece “Garaje gato” (Garage cat in spanish) dedicated to this cat. I think I have found my role model here. They say Jazzman even had fights with coyotes and survived!

It is a museum where cool devices and things that work from different epochs are gathered

What crazy things am I gonna do if I get rich

I was considering what crazy things I am gonna do if I get rich.

The general idea is that after hipster subculture to be trendy, the next one should be nerd subculture. Only under the mask of nerd subculture people would learn that there are way more possible interests and hobbies, not only the ones that are considered ‘nerdy’. There are also some that are just not well know, you can only stumble upon them if you use your mind more. So how to foster this transition in the society, if I have some money to waste?

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